I just got off a plane from North Carolina—a pretty good haul just to attend a baby shower, right? But this wasn’t just any baby shower. This was for the first baby of my college roommate’s middle child.

It still makes me smile to think of all the twists and turns that led to that friendship. When I went off to college, I roomed with a friend my freshman year—but she transferred out after a year. That left me flying solo sophomore year, with a randomly assigned roommate whose name I couldn’t even pronounce. (No, really—I stared at that name and thought, “What in the world?”)

But as it turns out, that roommate never showed up. I thought I’d hit the jackpot—an entire dorm room to myself and two closets!

Then came the curveball. A couple of friends asked if I’d consider rooming with a girl they met over the summer who needed a room. “She’s nice,” they said. “She’s funny. You’ll like her.”

Well, they were right. I did like her. A lot.

That girl became one of the dearest people in my world, and 40 years later, we’ve shared just about every season of life together—weddings, funerals, babies, teenagers, empty nests…and now grandbabies. Her family is part of mine, and mine of hers.

Over the weekend, she and her sister kept saying things like, “Remember when you handled that for Dad’s funeral?” or “You took care of this at my wedding.” The truth? I didn’t remember. I’m a bit of a “fixer” by nature. I see a need, I step in. My brothers say I’m bossy. I say I just do what needs doing.

But you know what? She taught me something I desperately needed.

Where I tended to barrel in like a bull in a china shop, she slowed things down. She gave me perspective. In moments that frustrated me or made me want to leap into action, she’d calmly ask, “Do you think you’ll care about this a year from now?” Most of the time, the answer was no. And in those moments, I’d exhale, slow my roll (and roll my eyes), and remember that not every hill is worth climbing—or crashing down.

That’s the beauty of an old friend—one who knows when to let you be you…and when to lovingly call you out and hand you a piece of chocolate instead.

I thought I was gaining a roommate. God knew I was gaining a life companion—a soft place to land when life got messy, and someone to help me find the calm in the chaos.

So, here’s to the friends you didn’t see coming—the ones who show up when you least expect it and stay for a lifetime.

What a gift. What a life.

Until next time,